According to DC Comics, tomorrow is Batman Day 2020. This marks the seventh different day of the year for Batman Day in the past seven years. You'd think from the 365 available, they could find one a date that didn't already have a holiday. As everyone knows, September 19 is always International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Put the two events together, and there's only one way to celebrate. With a...

from Detective Comics Annual #7 (1994)

Yar welcome.

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Ahoy, despite ha'in' been shot dead months ago, the Batman is ali'e again. As a pirate. (And a cowboy. And a pilgrim. And a ca'eman. Oh, you get the idea.) Why? 'Cause no one verily stays dead in comic books.

Tis good news indeed for pals o' Batman and Talk Like a Pirate Day, but not so great for fans o' cogent storytellin'. Aye.

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Durin' Friday night's broadcast o' tha annual Boise State versus Fresno State football contest, ESPN took time t' show me not only tha broadcast team's weekly fantasy football starters, but also their correspondin' scores. Those bilge rats at ESPN pirated time from an actual football game t' show me results o' an imaginary football game. If thar be anythin' more borin' than bein' forced t' see pictures o' some stranger's sprogs, it's bein' forced t' see some stranger's fantasy football team's score. In me idea o' a fantasy football game, commentators will shut their grog holes and we'll be able t' watch a real football game in peace. Arrr!

(P.S. Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day.)

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It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day again. Seems to be about this time every year. It keeps interrupting Batman and Football Month. Sooner or later, I will run out of pictures of Batman with pirates, you know.

It's not that I want to be a stick in the mud, but what's with modern America's love affair with the pirate? I've studied enough history to know that pirates were the terrorists of their day. In two hundred years, will we celebrate Talk Like an Islamic Fundamentalist Day or Talk Like the Unabomber Day?

But nevermind me. I'm just a stick in the mud. Go, enjoy your day, lovers of terrorism.

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Don't forget: today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day. (I admit. I forgot. I went to a website where they had replaced every instance of the word "you" with the word "ye." Then I remembered.)

Despite the above evidence, I'm pretty sure that neither Batman nor Two-Face participates.

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